Office Location
815 Brunette Avenue
Coquitlam, BC V3K 1C5
Phone: 604-936-9987
Fax: 604-468-2575

Email: info@burquitlamfuneralhome.ca

Office Location

815 Brunette Avenue

Coquitlam, BC V3K 1C5

Phone: 604-936-9987

Fax: 604-468-2575

info@burquitlamfuneralhome.ca


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Brenda Conner

Brenda Conner

Friday, June 26th, 1959 Saturday, October 3rd, 2020

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Obituary

Obituary for Brenda Gay Conner

Brenda Conner (née Anderson), 61, passed away suddenly on October 3, 2020 with her family by her side. Brenda was a loving daughter, wife, mother, grandmother, sister, and friend.

Born in Burnaby on June 26, 1959, Brenda was the oldest of three siblings. She was a natural care-giver and enjoyed helping her mother look after her younger brother and sister. Growing up, she was spoiled by two sets of grandparents who loved her so dearly that they even let her play with the fine china. This boundless approach to love and relationships is something she carried with her throughout her life.

At the tender age of 19 she had her first son, Christopher. She set out with the enthusiasm of a first time mom, making sure to fill out his entire baby book and send him on a road trip to Disneyland. At the age of 26, she married her best friend, Douglas. Doug fell in love with her because she was a wonderful mother-- the kind he wanted his children to have. He knew how lucky he was to win the heart of one of the beautiful, “cool” girls from school and he loved her every day thereafter. They went on to have three children together, Michael, Brittani, and Chad. Brenda made raising four children seem effortless. Even when her husband worked out of town, she managed to be everything to everyone all at once.

She made the best turkey (roast beef if you ask Chris) and everyone was always invited for dinner. She spent hours trying to make the small moments perfect because she knew that those were the moments that counted: The lights strung delicately on the tree, the impossible to find video game ready to be unwrapped, the pair of jeans that finally fit. The moments never were perfect. She dropped the green beans, the ornaments broke, and the jello never set. Yet despite the messiness of real life, she never stopped trying to make everyone around her smile.

When she wasn’t busy raising four children (a job that never really ends), Brenda enjoyed relaxing in her yard and having a drink with the neighbours. She loved growing beautiful flowers, making rock gardens, and keeping her hummingbirds, Henry and Emma, well fed. However, it wasn’t long after her children had grown that she started to dream of her chance to become fun grandma “Lollie”. Anyone who knew Brenda (and anyone who encountered her at the grocery store) knew that she spent the last three years pouring that sweet, boundless love into the life of her grandson Karl. She jumped in the muddy puddles, climbed through the tunnels, and was the only one allowed in the playroom. She took every opportunity she could to make life special for Karl and because of that he will have a lifetime of memories to cherish.

At the end of it all, Brenda’s life was her family. It may seem like a small thing, but it was monumental to those who were loved by her. She taught us to be soft, even when the world feels hard. She taught us that being strong doesn’t mean you can’t hurt. She taught us to laugh when the tree falls over. It is our turn now to be strong for you, mom. We hope wherever you are, that your kitchen is shiny white, your flowers are in bloom, and your wine glass is full. We will meet you again at the dinner table.

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AH

Antonia Herring

I met Brenda for a moment and was immediately fond of her warmth. Thank you, Brenda, for the lovely words that have meant so much to me.
Comment | Posted at 09:38am via Condolence
AB

Andrea Bronswyk

Brittani, your words are so beautiful and so true. Your mom was a remarkable person and I am so lucky and forever grateful to have been as close to her as I was. Brenda was so many things to so many people - she always found the time and energy to give everything she could, no matter how small. She was caring and kind, fun and witty, thoughtful and cunning, and, at times, downright hilarious. Above all else, Brenda loved selflessly, infinitely. She loved her community, her neighbours, her family and friends. She loved Doug and her children - Chris, Michael, Brittani, and Chad. And Karl. Oh, how she loved Karl. She would do anything for that little boy. She was his Lollie. I was always in awe watching her love as she played all of his games with so much enthusiasm, breathing in every demand made by her little prince, and using every ounce of imagination she had - more enthusiasm, energy, and imagination than I often have for my own kids. I remember watching her play with Harper, Thomas , and Karl at her house last summer. They were playing on the bed, opening and closing the door, and screaming wildly. You could see it all over the faces of the children: Brenda was the most fun friend they had ever had. Growing up, it was Brenda the Ulster Street kids went to if in need of a Stoned Wheat Cracker, a counter to sit on, a hug to heal a wound, an adult who may truly try and understand their side of the story, or a simple laugh. I will always remember being in Brenda’s backyard after the canine-love-of-her-life, Milo, had puppies. We were mixing together some form of brown, liquid food. Brit and I were laughing our heads off as little girls would over something that resembled doo but, better than that, Brenda was laughing equally as hard. Whether she thought it was as funny as we did, or she was simply that happy to see our joy, I don’t really know, but I always hope to see as much light in my life as Brenda did. Family gatherings with the Conners were anything but calm, but when Grandma GG and the clan were altogether, there was something so right, so in sync, that the homemade perogies came out perfectly amidst the spilt red wine, fighting children, Yahtzee games, and last minute runs for more sour cream. It has always been such a wonderful chaos to get to be around because there was always Brenda. Brenda, just going around and making sure everyone felt loved. And, boy, do we ever love her back. I, too, share the memory of Doug and Brenda’s anniversary at Loon Lake Lodge. While there were many events that evening, I will always remember being chosen (or choosing myself) to deliver a speech about their marriage. While I don’t remember the speech itself, and it likely wasn’t nearly as epic in hindsight as it felt that night, I will never forget how everyone was watching the happy couple, but how Doug and Brenda, in that moment, only had eyes for each other. I have never lost anyone as close to me as Brenda was; the tears have been plentiful, the reminiscing persistent, and the desire to support my best friend, without knowing how, has been relentless. There is no way to replace Brenda, no amount of grieving that will fill the void, but I can live by the many lessons she has taught me. Laugh hard and often, especially when things don’t go right. Cry when you need to, even if it is over spilled beans. Always get the family together. Go watch the soccer game of your 8-year-old, downpour or not. Have a drink on the front lawn with the neighbours. Clean the house, but, more importantly, live in it. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but don’t be taken advantage of. And above all else, Love.
Comment | Posted at 10:55pm via Condolence
J

Jackie

I plant this tree in your memory dear friend, as it grows it will keep me connected to you, I miss you so much
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Memorial Tree Planted

Jackie planted a memorial tree for Brenda Conner
Comment | Posted at 09:41pm via Memorial Tree
J(

Jackie Coolen (Tortorelli)

I was stunned to hear that Brenda was gone and I still have a very hard time believing it
Robyn , Lynn, Brenda and I met in Mary hill jr high in grade nine and
That was the beginning of our sharing so much of life’s experiences together
Our little group is now missing one and we’re going to feel it for the rest of our lives
Even through hard times Brenda always had that soft sweet voice and great sense of humour
That’s what I will remember best of her
Plus the crazy stuff we did as teenagers of course!!!

Goodbye dear dear friend
You will be much missed

Comment | Posted at 09:28pm via Condolence
JR

Jan Rhodes

Condolences from our family. Your mom was one kind momma. She looked out for all of the kids on Ulster Street. May she Rest In Peace and watch over all of you. What a beautiful tribute.
Jan, Bob, Stephanie & Quinn
Comment | Posted at 08:50pm via Condolence
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